Keeping your baby name a secret

Some couples keep the name to themselves until the baby is born. There are good reasons for it, and there are kind ways of saying it when people ask.

Choose your name in private

Why parents keep it private

Once a name is out, everyone has an opinion. Keeping it private means that the choice stays yours and your partner’s, and that the first time anyone hears it, it is attached to a real baby.

You avoid opinions before you have settled on your own.
You do not have to defend a name that is only a shortlist.
It can make announcing the name a nice moment.

Agree it together first

Decide with your partner whether you will keep the shortlist private, the final name private, or both. It helps if you both give the same answer when someone asks.

What to say when people ask

A short, friendly line is enough, and you do not need to explain further.

“We are keeping it as a surprise.”
“We have a shortlist, and we will tell you when we meet them.”
Then change the subject.

Choosing in private

You can keep a name private from family and still need to find it together. One way is to write your names separately and only compare the ones you both picked, so that neither of you has to defend a name before the other has said theirs.

It is your choice

Some couples share their shortlist and ask for ideas, and that is fine too. There is no right answer, only what feels comfortable for you.

A little game for two

Baby Name Jar is a free daily game for choosing your baby’s name together. You each drop a name in the jar, nobody sees the other’s until you have both added yours, and then the jar opens and you find the names you both love.

Start your jar, it’s free

Questions

Is it rude not to tell family the name?

Not at all. Many parents keep it private, and a warm “we are keeping it as a surprise” is understood by most people.

Can we keep names secret from each other while choosing?

Yes. In Baby Name Jar you each add names without seeing the other’s until you have both added yours. The free baby name match does the same: only the names you both picked are shown.

When do people usually share the name?

Whenever suits you. Some share before the birth, some at the birth and some after the birth registration. There is no set time.