What to do when family don’t like your baby name

Decide before you share

The easiest way to avoid unwelcome opinions is not to ask for them while you are choosing. Many couples settle on a name together first, then tell people. An opinion hurts less when it arrives after the decision is made.

Keep the shortlist private if you want to

You do not owe anyone your list. If you are being asked, you can say that you are keeping it as a surprise. It is a polite answer that does not invite a conversation.

Have a friendly line ready

Something short and warm works well: “Thank you, we love it.” Then change the subject. You do not need to justify the name, explain its history or persuade anyone.

• Agree with your partner beforehand how you will each respond, so that you are on the same side.
• If someone is upset, you can acknowledge their feelings without changing your mind.

Include family in a way you choose

If you would like family to take part, you can ask them for ideas, and then decide for yourselves. Some parents also use a family name as a middle name, so that a relative feels honoured without having a say in the first name.

Remember whose baby it is

If you and your partner both love the name, that is what matters. Most relatives come round once there is a real baby with that name.

A little game for two

Baby Name Jar is a free daily game for choosing your baby’s name together. You each drop a name in the jar, nobody sees the other’s until you have both added yours, and then the jar opens and you find the names you both love.