Baby name regret: choosing a name you will not second-guess

Why second thoughts happen

A name is a big decision made before you have met the person who will carry it, so it is natural to doubt it. Pressure from other people, a name that turned out to be more popular than you expected, or a surprise association can all make you wonder.

Test a name before you commit

These checks catch most of the things people later wish they had thought of.

• Say it out loud with your surname, many times, in different tones of voice.
• Picture it on a toddler, a teenager and an adult.
• Think about nicknames and shortenings, and whether you are happy with them.
• Look up how popular it is, so you know whether there may be several in a class.
• Search for associations you may not know about, such as a well-known person or a word it sounds like.

Take your time

There is no need to decide the moment you start talking about names. Keeping a shortlist, leaving it for a few days and coming back to it is a good way to find out which names keep feeling right.

Make sure you both love it

A name that one of you only tolerates is more likely to bring doubts later. Finding the names you both love, rather than settling on one you both just accept, is a calmer place to start.

If you still have doubts

Talk to your partner honestly and early. A middle name can carry a name you love but are unsure about as a first name. If you are thinking of changing a name that is already registered, the rules depend on your situation, so check gov.uk before you decide.

A little game for two

Baby Name Jar is a free daily game for choosing your baby’s name together. You each drop a name in the jar, nobody sees the other’s until you have both added yours, and then the jar opens and you find the names you both love.